The more Adult (and ‘detective’ or curious) way of looking at it is to ask: what’s the child afraid of? Autistic individuals can’t always express their feelings (they can swirl around inside us, being felt, and not expressed ) – maybe here, for this child, they’re afraid of rejection – they feel a connection has been lost with the Mum – they’re fearing rejection and they protect themselves by creating the rejection first.So, sometimes you can almost reverse what a frustrated child is saying, to work out what feeling is driving their words. Saying something Adult to them like: ‘Well that’s a sad way to feel, that must feel difficult, but I am not going anywhere, and I love you. Let’s talk when you have calmed down’ attempts a reconnection , and doesn’t enforce the rejection.