Growing up as an aspie kid in the seventies and eighties in Britain sucked. But it sucked for everyone, in some respects. No one had heard of autism (outside of psychiatry circles) anyway. Of course, those of us that are aspie didn’t even know we had Asperger’s Syndrome, or any autism profile, back then. We just knew we felt different, and saw the world differently to our peers.
The 70s and 80s were wonderful in many ways. But growing up as an aspie kid in the 70s & 80s sucked. (Stock shot).
If we could sum up the era of the 1970s and 1980s in one word it would be disrespect. Of course, there were benefits to growing up in this era – no technology to interfere with playing in the great outdoors, for example – however there was a happy slappy culture in UK homes that saw many parents dish out smacks willy nilly, and use unkind name calling.
At school, corporal punishment was no longer an issue (at this author’s 1980s comprehensive school at least – as corporal punishment was outlawed in UK state schools in 1986; my second year of high school.)
However, teachers weren’t immune to flinging wooden blackboard rubbers around with happy abandon, and they were verbally abusive on occasion.
Casual violence in schools and homes
Some things are best consigned to history.
A lackadaisical approach to casual violence seeped through generations and families. As it was ‘ok’ to smack your kids at home, it was ok to do it at school. Boys hit boys, boys hit girls, and the school bus often witnessed ripples of slaps to the back of heads going down the aisles.
(Incidentally, modern research has, thankfully, found that smacking kids is detrimental.
The NHS reports that: “Researchers made the case that smacking in childhood could have the same long-term negative impact as traumatic life events, such as being sexually abused or parents getting divorced.”)
Autistic in the 1980s
In my comprehensive (high) school, with 180 kids in my year, three or four kids would likely have been autistic. I can only recall one person in my peer group who may have had learning difficulties, and he was regularly tormented, and had legendary ‘meltdowns’, when school furniture would fly. I don’t remember him receiving any special support from educators, but perhaps he did.
Lorna Wing’s pioneering work in autism research
Psychiatrist and autism researcher Lorna Wing and her colleagues would go on to change the face of autism research. Ms Wing pioneered new changes to autism diagnostic criteria; in 1981 she published a paper called: ‘Asperger’s Syndrome: a Clinical Account’, however Asperger’s wasn’t included in medical diagnostic guidelines until the 1990s.
So, in the 1980s, in the average British household, few people had heard of autism. (The film Rainman didn’t hit cinemas until 1989, and it was probably the first time many people had any kind of awareness about autism.)
In addition, in my educational circle at least, few people knew of dyslexia; and anyone perceived as being different, whether due to perceived sexuality, neurodiversity or otherwise, was subject to widespread disrespect.
Kind words, kind hands
Family life through the ages
There was no talk of kind hands or kind words in the 1970s. Our parents were born in the years directly after the war. Many new parents in the 40s and 50s must have suffered terribly, if not directly by active service and the toll this took (especially in terms of the many fathers who didn’t return home), than by austerity. The post war years were stark for many families. Good food was presumably scarce in many homes, emotions were frayed, and money, for many families at least, must have been extremely tight. Respect for children was presumably low down on the list! So, it’s no wonder that by the time the post war babies became parents, familiar disrespectful habits were resurfacing.
It’s key to remember that autistic children experience difficulties with social communication, expressive language, impulse control, repetitive processes and sensory challenges. Being smacked surely only adds to their sense of confusion?
This disrespectful culture has changed
Thankfully, now many of the kids of the seventies and eighties are parents too, to a large degree this disrespectful culture has changed. It does of course depend on individual circumstances, socio-economic situations, as well as culture, geography and finances, but for the most part, today’s parents are seemingly more respectful. Smacking children is very much frowned upon in all circles.
Autism education has never been so accessible
Smacking children was de rigour in the 80s and 70s
Today there is also a wealth of information available to us on parenting and neurodiversity, and of course, resources are just a click away online. Want to order a book on autistic traits in children, or go on a ‘Parenting the PDA child’ course? Google will sort that out for you in seconds. Autism education has never been so accessible.
Smacking kids, and the law
Smacking is currently not illegal in the UK, providing it amounts to ‘reasonable punishment’, according to section 58 of the Children Act 2004. However, Scotland and Wales are planning to ban smacking, at the time of writing.
So, in the 21st century, smacking children is a no-go; but even if it wasn’t frowned upon (or made illegal), today’s parents just don’t want to smack our kids (although sadly there are bound to be some exceptions). Why would we want to inflict violence on our children? We know from experience it serves no purpose. It’s invariably just a frustration-releasing exercise on the part of the parent.
Kind hands and words for autists
And for parents of autistic children, it’s important to teach them that kind hands and words are the way forward. Life is already frustrating enough for young autists, and their impulse control is often under-developed. The very many kind and empathetic kids around today, who are educated about showing and understanding their emotions, is testament to today’s more respectful familial society.
Moving forward
So what’s the next step? Certainly, for all generations to learn more about autism. And, we believe, for the respect that we’ve mentioned to continue across the autism community. Currently there’s noticeable divisions between #actuallyautistic activists and educators, and self-styled warrior ‘autism parents’. The latter may seek cures for their children’s autism, and some speak of ‘loving the child, hating the autism’, as if the two were separate. You can even wear a t shirt emblazoned with phrases such as these!
(Read our views below!!)
‘I’m a haemorrhoid warrior!’ Why Autism T-shirts and ‘Autism Warrior’ garments are insidiously wrong
If autists could gain the respect that every neurodiverse individual deserves, the world would certainly be a better place, for ourselves and for future generations.
A little disclaimer – here at Spectra.blog we don’t claim to be experts about Autism; the information we post here is based purely on our own exposure and experiences. We’d also love your feedback on our posts!
Also published on Medium.
Hi Kathy. A very thought-provoking post here. As a 41-year-old Aspie (born in 1977) I can strongly relate to much of your description of the time period you have specified above.
Due to my birth year (1977) I can only really remember stuff from about 1980 onwards and I totally agree that it wasn’t an easy time to be a person with ASD. Although both my parents were (and still are) kind and loving, they still had the occasional tendencies to smack me (though thankfully very rarely) but they both admitted several years later that it was due to the way they were brought up, they didn’t know any better at the time, and of course, as you stated, it was pretty much expected of parents to dish out a good hiding against their ‘naughty’ children, and if they didn’t, they were often labelled as bad and irresponsible parents.
Although I can forgive my parents for the physical discipline (though never outright abuse) they dished out back then, I still cannot forgive some of the staff at the residential school I attended in the late eighties (1986-88)
for some of the inhumane treatment they gave me (and other pupils there), although I will leave all that for another post maybe in the future for more details.
It really irritates me when a lot of people constantly harp on about those times being the proverbial ‘good old days’
and that the present time is in their opinion the worst ever. Sure there are problems in both this country and the world as a whole at the moment, but I think many people’s negative perceptions of the current state of things are largely exacerbated by the advent of mass communication technologies, such as the internet, social media, and not forgetting 24/7 rolling news channels (BBC, Sky, etc) with wall-to-wall coverage of many events.
Apologies for straying off-topic a little, but I am more than happy to have vented my spleen over all of this.
Happy Christmas.
Thanks for taking the time to post JFC; it is a very hard subject to tackle isn’t it!
Interesting to see the perspective of peer pressure from the parents at the time, eg. if they didn’t smack, they were often labelled as bad and irresponsible parents.
Very sorry to hear about your experiences at the school – like you say, the good old days weren’t always that good. We’re super grateful for your insightful comments and wish you all the best.
Thanks for your reply, it helps me to feel a lot better about things, and that I haven’t been (and still aren’t) alone in my issues.
Like you said above, in the grand scheme of things, I don’t think there has ever actually been a better time to be an Aspie as awareness and acknowledgement of the condition has never been greater than it is today, although, sadly, a lot of the ‘better’ aspects of life today are often overlooked by many people (ASD or not) who constantly pine for those mythical ‘good old days’ that IMO never actually existed. Surely there is still much more work to be done, but most things for us Aspies are most certainly better now than say, 20-25 years ago, when we were still often being threatened with institutionalisation, or even jail, in the worst-case scenarios, when we displayed our seemingly ‘oddball’ behaviours.
Wishing you a Happy New Year,
JFC.
Though not necessarily ASC-related, but more corporal punishment-related and from the 1980s, I have links to two videos on YouTube which tell of dysfunctional families where violence and aggression are the norm and the detrimental impacts of CP can have on youngsters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M3-3hklr6I
(N. B, The letter between the K and R is a lowercase L and the last letter is an uppercase I)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYaXWxLLGj8
WARNING!! Both of these programmes contain scenes that may be severely distressing to certain individuals. No F or C-words, though the word ‘bloody’ is said a couple of times.
JFC
I was born in 1963 and only got diagnosed with autism in 2014. My lately departed mother was a nurse and I would read her nursing (medical) text books and autism was not mentioned in any of them. I lived in Ashington in Northumberland and also have epilepsy from age of 7. I left school without any educational qualifications and was taken out of school at 12 because they thought I would not cope with the pressure of studying for exams. I was without education from the age of 12 to 15 where I received a few months of very poor quality home schooling from a home school tutor. I was sent to a boarding school for epilepsy for a year and left without any educational support. At 7 and a half I left Ashington to live in Plaistow in East London which I found very traumatic and ran away from home on three separate occasions for very bizarre reasons, one was I thought Bethnal Green in London was in Israel. I was very confused do not separate fact from fantasy. I had an obsession with everything to do with astronomy and science fiction. I went to the child guidance clinic in Stratford in London in the 70’s which I found very traumatic but I never was told why. I also have had a very poor employment record where my most of my life has been spent going to Job clubs, office course (no qualification), job training and employment training schemes as well as New Deal and Employment Programme schemes which were a total waste of time as all I need was write hundreds and hundreds of letters to speculative employers. I have never had a social network and what has been a big hindrance is my lack of soft skills (not sure what they are but I have been told I do not have any. As well as my inability to make new friends after I left school as people would come up to me and make me their friend.
Thanks Katrine, it is so kind of you to share your experiences. We do hope you have found some comfort in your diagnosis or some sense of explanation.
Thank you for this. I was born in 1950 and by about 1964 I realized someting was not right. I look upon my teens and young adulthood as 15 years of social isolation. America was no different than the UK in recognizing very high functioning people on the spectrum. I still feel the sting of those years today, and for me it is a PTSD-like experience.